Blow out the candles, forever

I've only been there three times, and I'll never sit in it again, but it's never been about a single fan or the number of trips one could make to see it. It's always been about The Place.... and no other place in American sports has ever captured the magical mixture of grace, triumph, passion, and excellence the way Yankee Stadium has captured those things from the day it opened, eighty-five years ago today.

Happy Birthday, Yankee Stadium.

Turn the Moose loose

I sincerely hope Mike Mussina wins 12-15 games this year, because I'm not a mean-spirited guy. But I also sincerely hope he wins those games for another team. I hope I never see him in a Yankee uniform again.

I will see him in pinstripes again, because there's no other choice. But can someone please explain why he would ever pitch to Manny Ramirez again? EVER!!?? At this point in his terrific career, Mussina couldn't throw a ball by Ty Cobb's corpse or the head of Ted Williams. And if the accounts of last weekend are accurate -- that Girardi wanted Mussina out of the game in Fenway, but out on the mound, Mussina persuaded Joe G. to leave him in (one just hopes he didn't utter the ridiculous phrase, "I can get this guy.") -- then Girardi is as much to blame for last night's shame as anyone.

Managers are paid to make tough calls, and if you have to embarrass a veteran by taking him out or making him intentionally walk a guy he can't get out, then cash your check, Joe, and consider it an honest day's work. Mussina's -- Jesus God, Almighty! -- "stubborn streak" is a piss-poor excuse for failing to face reality. YOU'RE A SIXTH STARTER, MIKE! DEAL WITH IT, AND STOP KILLING THE TEAM TRYING TO RE-LIVE 1993!

It is obvious Mussina cannot live up to the dictate to live inside and back hitters off the plate, not above-average hitters, anyway. The only stunner from last night's game was that the Boston DH didn't get off his personal schnide and wrap two home runs of his own. It's tough to be a Yankee fan and watch Mussina stick to his limp-dick guns while Manny is getting hard-ons in the batter's box, waiting for the inevitable wheelhouse pitch. If I were an emotional eater, I'd have gained fifty pounds in the first three innings last night.

And for God's sake... if you're going to plunk someone, why the hell would you plunk Ellsbury? TWICE!!??

I can't talk about it anymore....

Papal Bullsh*t

Did you hear the one about the Pope who walked into a baseball stadium and said, "A baseball has as many seams as a Rosary has beads, my ass! You guys hit the road!"

Don't wait around for a punch line, because that's no joke. Because the pope needed a place to put 50,000 people, the Yankees can't celebrate the final birthday of their 85-year home. What, Shea wasn't available?

It's hard to believe that God has such a hard-on for Yankee Stadium that he needed the pope to pass out his blessings there. Are you telling me that if the Pope had picked up the red phone and said, "God.... it's me or baseball. You call it," God would have chosen to kick the Yankees, his favorite team, out of town? No way in Hell that happens.

Somebody screwed up. It is criminal that today has to be spent on the road. No... it is sinful.

A thousand Hail Marys for the pope. And I want to hear them all.........