No $@#%ing way!

Thanks to Maureen Ryan, the Yankees Chick --the link to her fabulous blog can be found by scrolling down the left side of this page -- my blood pressure hit the red numbers about ten minutes ago. For, it was while scrolling down her site this morning that I saw the Vegas odds on the World Series.... and the Mets -- gee-zus god, of all teams! - -are a safer bet than the Yankees! Who is setting the Vegas book, Joe Benigno?

The Mets can go out and get all the Johanna Montana Santanas they want, but that won't prevent them from stinking up their last year at -- excuse me while I try to massage the laugh cramps out of my face -- Shea Stadium. (Just where is that again?) Has anyone seen the chubby cheeks of Carlos Beltran? Or the crippled hip of Senor Delgado? And although I was dragged kicking and screaming to the TV to watch the Mets-Orioles exhibition game last night -- for whatever reason, the Yankees-Rays wasn't on here in Asia -- I was thankful for a look at my once-favorite Yankee, El Duque, whose former, signature high leg kick now makes Fred Sanford look like a Rockette. And this team is going places in a not-too-shabby NL East? Please.

It's nearly 10 p.m. here in Taiwan as I write this, and I needed a boost to keep me going until the Yankees-Pirates play ball at one o'clock. Thanks, Yankees Chick, you just did the trick.

The Mets, 5-to-1 to win it all..... LOL.. I mean, please.. they're the Mets!

Crystal's blue (as in sad) persuasion

And while we're expressing consternation here..... how the hell did Billy Crystal persuade the baseball powers-that-be to let him bat in today's game? There's only one way to make this Billy Crystal stunt any worse or more ludicrous than it already is: Here's hoping Crystal goes to the plate in his Sammy Davis Jr. blackface and wearing about forty pounds of jewelry.

Or maybe he can suffer a brush back pitch and step out of the box, point his bat to the pitcher, and laspe into his lame Muhammad Ali imitation. Actually, I do hope this happens, then the pitcher can do what he ought to do: blast this joker right in the ass with a heater.

That's what's lost in all this.... A Pirates pitcher working to get ready to do his job has to become part of a lame publicity stunt. It would serve Crystal right -- and the Yankees, and MLB for allowing this -- to get the real feel of batting in the major leagues. You show up the opponent, there's penance to be paid.